Is your FOMO a cry for attention?

Have you ever been on Instagram scrolling through memes and minding your own business when one of your friend’s post pops up and it's them looking like they are having the time of their lives, the post is captioned with an incomprehensible phrase or a few emojis and the hashtag “iykyk”. I’m not really sure how many times that has happened to me, in fact, I am guilty of posting like that myself and will continue to do so because there is absolutely nothing wrong with that but sometimes I do understand that those are the type of posts which give rise to the fear of missing out, or FOMO in short.

In the past, I have had countless friends. I’m not really sure if that is a brag, although I don't think it is. I was involved in many different social circles. I am an extrovert so I like to meet and get to know a spectrum of people. As a result, my social calendar was overflowing with events and get-togethers with a variety of different friend groups. At the moment I thought that was amazing, and I’m not going to lie, I would have missed out on unforgettable and impressionable experiences if it weren’t for instances like that. But as time passed, I realized that I didn't have an exclusive group of friends to whom I go to for anything and everything, I only had friends who I met at school, classes, events etc. I was well known but I was not close to anybody and if I ever had to feel vulnerable or let my feelings out without being judged, I dealt with it on my own.

If I am being completely honest, this was the case until two years ago when I finally started investing my time in limited friendships which I wanted to build rather than focusing on being involved in a dozen friend groups. This was one of the best decisions I have made. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a part of a few different friend groups and I absolutely love them but I also have a small circle of close friends who I can now say are my “exclusive circle” and I feel that I can be myself around them without having to censor my thoughts. I am eternally grateful for these people.

However, a part of me still has a fear of missing out. Even though I am happy and content with my set of friends, I go through Instagram stories and I see people preparing to go for events or parties and still have FOMO. I don’t have an exact reason as to why I feel that, maybe it was because I used to be there for every little party or event before. I am in no way close to these people, but a constant nagging that everyone is having fun but me is there at the back of my head. It has the tendency to rise randomly, making it even more inconvenient. This unsettling feeling, I’ve realized, is what my idea of FOMO is. Social media is a huge part of having FOMO in my opinion but I shall dive into the effects of social media in a separate post.

Everyone talks about FOMO on a daily basis, but nobody quite delves into the nitty gritty of feeling absolutely horrible and left out, feeling like everyone is going to be having the time of their life while you are not. Talking about your FOMO is considered “asking for unnecessary attention” (cue Tiktok - Pooja what is behavior? You’re asking for it, YOU’RE DYING FOR IT…) and consequently all these feelings are buried until another Instagram or Facebook post (but let's be honest, who even uses Facebook anymore) shows up - a constant cycle. In fact, even as I’m writing this, there is a small thought at the back of my head questioning my decision to post this on the internet for the world to see because the habit of keeping all these thoughts to myself has been ingrained for who knows how long.

Unfortunately, FOMO is completely natural and will happen from time to time even when you are at your happiest. No, it is not a cry for attention either - it is completely normal to feel that way. However, there are few methods which I have learned that help reduce the intensity of FOMO.

1. This should be obvious by now - Don’t look at your social media.

I know this is easier said than done but believe me it works wonders, if you don’t know what other people are doing then the chance of you feeling left out is slim to none.

2. Call a friend and actually talk about your FOMO.

Again, easier said than done I know. This is how I navigated my way around having an exclusive group of friends. If you have friends who will not judge your feelings and just listen to you, then call them. Also pro tip, if you are not that close to anybody, you can still call your “not so close” friends and talk about other things to get your mind off of the nagging FOMO at the back of your head.

3. Stop thinking about it.

At this point you must be thinking, wow Munira, way to go - point out the obvious. I KNOW BUT - it works. Play a game, write something, listen to music - anything at all which will make your brain change its focus. Just distract yourself and trust me, eventually you will stop thinking about it.

I can go on about the side effects of FOMO, so if you want me to elaborate on it or share your own experiences and stories please do reach out and let me know, I would really appreciate it. I also want to point out that I am just a beginner at blogging and am open to learning how to blog better and receiving constructive feedback so if you have any tips and tricks as to how I can improve then I would love to talk about it in detail. 

So in conclusion, the fear of missing out is something which is as normal as having a crush on any of the one direction members, it happens to all of us. Hence, you should speak about it more often and not be afraid of getting judged because of it, whether it’s having major FOMO or being in love with Harry Styles - I’m guilty of both.